Northern Ireland: Refusing To Redefine Uranus

The Northern Ireland Assembly has voted yet again to reject a proposal for Gay Marriage, defying the efforts of the UK Government, the European Union, the United Nations and, no doubt, the Illuminati and Martians too, to change the way mankind experiences sexuality.
Since time immemorial man and women have had a set of genitalia each, which when joined together quite possibly produce a child. In this way the human race is continued in a pleasant, friendly and enjoyable way. We are aware of sexual pleasure, much as we are aware of the pleasure of eating food. Eating and fecundating go beyond the urges of instinctive necessity and into the realms of pleasure.
But other parts of the body, although sensitive, are not genital. The anus, the mouth, and the hand are used in sexual and erotic touching, but they are not genitalia.
Our forefathers knew perfectly well where to draw the line. Anal sex, oral sex and masturbation were regarded as perversions.
So are you feeling a bit indignant, a bit offended, a bit pervy even. Well, so you should. There are not many of us who are fit to cast the first stone at our gay brothers and sisters.
But to confess that a lot of us like something a bit naughty does not make that naughtiness right and proper.
There are two main consequences of defining the back passage and the mouth as sexual organs.
Firstly, sexual activity becomes yet another dreary commodity, a spiral of ever decreasing thrills, as it becomes divorced from its primary function of producing children, and its cerimonial unity of man and woman.
Secondly, by rendering sexual activity as primarily a subjective source of pleasures, and expanding the genital areas to the anus and the mouth, we are leaving our daughters wide open to abuse. Young girls are taught in schools that to be sodomised is to be expected, that Women's Liberation means that they should be satisfied with no dignity, but that of a sexual object complete with multiple spunk filling orifices.
This cannot be right!
It is good that men should love men, and that women should love women, and that men should love women and that women should love men.
But let's put an end to this cult of sodomy. Private matters are private, but pornography that portrays oral sex and anal sex should be banned, and whereas civil unions of people of the same gender should be welcomed, let us leave marriage as it always has been, the sacred ceremony that unites woman and man.